Journeys

Journey Smollett sat by the inky river, watching the flock of black birds on the opposite shore. In the midst of them all was a yellow bird.

Black leaves, blown from the trees of ash, rustled around Journey’s feet. She looked up at the dim orb in the sky, its light seeping through the smoky clouds, and hugged her jacket tighter around her. The wind whipped her brown hair and chilled her through her jacket. Brushing her hair out of her face, Journey stood up and began walking down the path that ran along the river back home.

Soon she was walking through the gate in front of her house. A five-year-old boy ran at her and jumped into her arms.

“Whoa, calm down, Aaron,” Journey said, grinning. “I was only gone an hour.” It was then that she noticed his eyes were watering and her grin disappeared. “What’s wrong?”

He pointed back at the black brick house. “Momma was drinking again,” he said. Journey’s face hardened and she ran inside, still holding her brother.

Her mother lay facedown on a fraying brown chintz couch, arm flung over the edge. A large but empty beer bottle had fallen from her hand and rolled over to join a pile of similar bottles several feet away. Journey scoffed. She should’ve known.

“Selena,” Journey said. “Selena. Wake up!”

Her mother did not stir. 

Journey shook her roughly, finally getting a reaction.

“Wha—what do you want?” Selena Smollett said, half-conscious. Then her eyes seemed to register that she was speaking to her daughter. “Oh. Get me another drink, will you?”

“It’s only one in the afternoon—”

“Aaron, baby, will you get Momma a drink?”

Aaron shook his head vigorously and tightened his grip on Journey.

“I’ll get you your drink,“ Journey said, setting Aaron down on the floor. She went into the kitchen, grabbed a plastic cup, and filled it with water from the tap. Going back to the couch, she threw it into Selena’s face.

Selena gasped, now wide awake. “Journey, this is your father’s favorite couch!”

“Yeah, well, he’s not my father, and it’s the only couch,” Journey replied. “C’mon, Aaron.”

Journey left the room, followed by Aaron. They went outside and over to the chest-height, cast-iron fence. Journey leaned on it and stared down the road that led to the town. Aaron pushed his face against the bars and did the same.

“Some day, Aaron,” Journey said. “We’ll leave. We can go East. They say it’s a brighter place there.” Plus, that was where Dad went, Journey thought.

Aaron nodded his silent agreement. “I don’t like the dark here,” he said.

“Me neither.”

“Why’d you say he wasn’t your dad?” Aaron asked.

“Who, Rob? Because he’s not,” Journey replied. “Don’t you remember our real dad?”

“No.”

“I guess it’s better that way,” Journey said, talking more to herself than Aaron. “If you didn’t remember him, you wouldn’t remember how he went on another one of his stupid trips and never came back.”

“Where’d he go?”

Journey looked back at the road. “I don’t know. He said he was looking for someplace with a ‘real’ sun.” He had tried to take his family with him, but Selena thought he was crazy. Journey thought she did, too. He had to be crazy.

The government had sent them a letter saying he had died.

Just then, she saw a young man walking up the road towards their house. He was still a good ways away, but Journey could’ve sworn he was glowing.

As he drew closer, Journey became sure of it. He was glowing. Not brightly, but more of a shining aura around him. And he was walking straight towards their house.

“Hello,” he called when he was twenty feet from the gate. “You know, it’s rather awkward walking up to someone when that someone’s watching you the whole time.”

Journey looked closely at him. He looked about 18, with bright green eyes, blond hair, and very normal-looking clothes. “Who are you?” she asked.

“Evan,” he said, grinning broadly as he stuck out his hand.

Journey stared at his hand. “You know”—she smiled a bit—“it’s considered improper for a guy to start a handshake with a girl.”

“That’s how you do it here? Oh. I can never remember.” He pulled his hand back. “Anyway, as I said, I’m Evan. What’s your name?”

“Journey,” she said. “And this is my little brother, Aaron.”

“How do you do, Aaron?”

Aaron frowned. “Why are you shiny?” he asked.

Laughing, Evan reached down through the fence and patted Aaron’s shoulder. Then, very seriously, he said, “Fairy dust.”

“There’s no such thing as fairies,” Aaron said.

“Yep, you’re right. There’s not,” Evan said. He turned to Journey. “Well, it was nice to finally meet you two. I’ll see you both again sometime soon, I bet.” With that, he waved his hand and disappeared.

Journey blinked. “Bye? I guess?”

“He was weird,” said Aaron.

“Yeah, he was. I think I like him.” Journey wondered what he meant, though. It was nice to finally meet them?

She wondered when he would come back.

“Selena, you need to make him leave.” Journey said, scrubbing a dirty plate.

Journey and her mother were in the kitchen. Selena was blinking away tears as she poured two glasses of wine.

“I can’t, Journey. I can’t.”

“Why?” Journey asked.

“Because he…he loves me.”

Journey scoffed. “He’s an abusive jerk. He’s nothing like Dad was.”

“Don’t mention your father!” Selena snapped. “He went on his stupid pilgrimage, and I—” She sniffed. “Well, I stayed. And you stayed, too, so don’t mention him.”

“You made us stay,” Journey said, flushing.

“But he was crazy! He wasn’t good for you and Aaron.” Selena raised her head. “He showed what he really thought about us when he ran away.”

“Where’s my wine, Selena?”

Journey spun around and saw Rob slouching in the doorway. His face was blotchy and his voice slurred. Selena grabbed the two wine glasses and hurried over to him.

“Here it is, dear.” She smiled broadly at him, but Journey noticed a quiver in her smile.

Grunting, Rob patted her arm and stumbled out of the room. Selena flashed a stronger smile at Journey and said, “See. I told you he loved me.”

Journey scoffed and went back to doing the dishes.

When she walked through the living room to her bedroom, she saw her mom passed out by Rob. An old antebellum movie was playing on the TV. Journey turned it off. Selena stirred and looked up at her. Journey bent over the couch.

“You probably won’t remember any of this, but I’m leaving. I doubt I’d tell you this if you were sober. I can’t watch you destroy yourself with Rob anymore. And I won’t let you mess up Aaron anymore. So we’re leaving, me and him. Don’t cry too long when we’re gone. You’ve got a master to attend to.”

After grabbing her already-packed bag from her room, Journey found her brother and helped him pack his own bag.

Journey sat by the road east, watching Aaron eat an apple. He was unusually quiet. She hadn’t even asked him if he wanted to leave.

“You did want to leave, didn’t you, Aaron?”

He nodded. “It’s not so dark anymore.”

Telling herself she believed him, Journey wiped her apple on her shirt and bit into it. But it had been two weeks, and she had yet to come across a city brighter than her old home. A job was equally impossible to find. She had been supplementing the savings she had brought with money earned from odd jobs, but it wasn’t much. 

At that moment, she looked across the road and jumped. Evan was standing under a tree, waving.

“Hello there, Journey,” he called. “Hi Aaron! How’re you two?”

Journey was too shocked to answer at first. “Three weeks.” she said. “You said you’d see us again soon.”

Evan walked over to them. “Ah, I do apologize for that. ‘A day is like a thousand years,’ as they say.” He grinned and held out his hand. “No hard feelings?”

Journey couldn’t help but crack a smile. She took his hand. “Fine.”

“You’re that weird guy,” Aaron said.

“I guess I am weird, aren’t I?” said Evan. “Well, he did say I would be a fool. ‘Foolishness to those who are perishing.’”

“What? We’re dying?” Journey asked.

“You’re always dying. Perishing means something else, something later but also now, in a way.”

Journey shook her head. “Whatever. Where have you been?”

“Oh, did I not tell you?” Evan said. “I’m a messenger. I’ve been delivering messages.”

Aaron turned his attention back to his apple and started drawing with a stick in the dirt road.

“Who do you deliver messages for?” Journey asked. “The post office?”

Evan laughed. “Ha, no. No, I work for a king. It’s kind of important.”

“You’re joking, right? There aren’t any kings. We live in a republic.

Evan waved his hand in dismissal. “Of course there are kings. And your republic is more like a dictatorship. But that’s beside the point.”

Journey stared at him skeptically. Gosh, he’s actually serious. Or at least, he thinks he is. “So, if you’re a messenger, then…do you have a message for us?”

“Yep.”

“Could you tell me?”

Evan became more serious. “Yes, but you’ve heard it before and dismissed it as foolishness. Would hearing it again make you believe it any more?”

“What? But you never told me anything.”

“You’re right, I didn’t tell you. Someone else did, several years ago. And you’ve heard people talking about it since then, too. You've been trying to convince yourself it was crazy.”

Journey could only stare at him. He had to be insane. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m a fool.”

Shaking her head, Journey walked over to Aaron. “Come on, Aaron. We have to keep moving.”

“Goodbye, then, Journey. And you, too, Aaron. I think I’ll see you both in”—he checked his watch—“one week. Do you like coffee? Au revoir!”

“You can stay away,” Journey muttered.

One week later, they had come to a new city. Black and gray towers jutted into the sky, obscuring the sun, but the multitude of electric lights made Journey feel like she was in one of the tanning salons that Selena used to frequent.

Journey walked out of a coffee shop to join Aaron at an umbrella-covered table.

“Before you ask, yes, I got you hot chocolate,” she said.

“Journey, I saw him again,” he whispered.

Journey groaned, but her stomach did a little flip all the same. “Evan? What’d he say?”

“He said Dad told you first. What’d he mean, Journey?”

“That would be your Dad, Journey. Not Rob.”

Journey spun around. Evan had been standing a few feet behind her. “Why do you just ‘show up’ everywhere?” Journey asked. “Go away.”

She immediately regretted saying it. “Ok,” Evan said and disappeared with a wave.

“No, I didn’t really mean—”

“I know you didn’t. That’s why I didn’t go far.”

Journey spun back around and slapped him across the face. “What do you mean it was my dad? He gave me the message?”

Evan rubbed his reddening face. “Ouch. You can slap. And yes, he gave it to you. But your mom thought he was crazy, and when he left, you started to think so, too. Don’t you remember the stories he used to tell you?”

Journey felt like all the blood from her face drained to her toes before rushing back to her face. “He told me the same one every night the year before he left me. Us.”

“I remember, too,” Aaron said.

Journey turned on him. “No, you don’t. You were only two.”

“I do remember, Journey,” he said, jutting out his chin. “There was a Dad, and his son, the prince, and the wizard killed the prince. But he came back and saved his wife from the wizard.”

“Stop it! We aren’t allowed to talk about that story. It made Dad go crazy and leave and…and—” Journey’s voice caught in her throat.

“You don’t really believe he died, though,” said Evan. “You never could. And you’re right.”

Journey slumped into her chair. Across from her, Aaron’s jaw dropped. It was true, she could never admit he was dead. But to hear that confirmed was something she never expected. It scared her.

“If…if he’s not dead, then why hasn’t he talked to us?” she asked, staring blankly through Evan.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself? Here.” He held out his hands to Journey and Aaron. “Hold on.”

Aaron grabbed it without hesitation. Journey started to take Evan’s hand, but stopped. Did she really want to see her Dad again? The Dad who left her? Maybe he didn’t really love her, and that’s why he didn’t ever try to contact them. Maybe Selena was right.

Evan laughed and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. “Come on, Journey. I want to show you something.”

She started to protest, but her chest constricted so much she could barely breathe. She screwed her eyes shut and gripped Evan’s wrist back, scratching him with her fingernails. Soon, however, she felt the pressure subside and she opened her eyes.

She shut them almost immediately. The city was as bright as a candle compared to this place. The brightness made her feel vulnerable, transparent. In the few seconds her eyes were open, she had seen no shadows.

“No,” she said. “Take me back. Please.”

But Evan wouldn’t. “Open your eyes,” he said.

Journey didn’t know why, but she did what he said. Aaron had walked forward several feet and was taking everything in open-mouthed. Spinning slowly, Journey saw glass and ivory towers in place of the old black ones. Golden birds fluttered overhead. Aaron ran over to a strawberry bush and started picking off the biggest ones.

“It’s—” she turned to Evan, but he wasn’t there.

“Beautiful?” said a deep voice behind her.

“I swear, Evan, if you keep doing that—”

It wasn’t Evan. There, standing by a peach tree, was her father. He looked the same, except for his eyes. Instead of their old adventurous gleam, they showed a mix of joy and remorse. Journey didn’t move.

He stepped towards her.

“No. Stay away,” Journey said.

He stopped.

“You left us. And never said anything.” Seeing her dad brought back the pain of feeling abandoned. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to hug him or slap him multiple times.

“I’m sorry, Journey,” he said. “I don’t expect saying this will make up for it, but I’ve wanted to say it for so long that I have to. I couldn’t come back. If you stay here longer than 24 hours, you can’t leave. You have to choose.”

Journey stood in silence for several seconds. “You chose this place over your family?”

“I didn’t know, Journey. By the time I realized that, my time was up.”

Journey looked at all the beauty and light around her. “If…if I leave, can I ever come back?”

Her father shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s possible.”

Frowning, Journey thought of her mother, back home with Rob. She already left them. What would be wrong with staying? But, then again, now that she had seen this place, how could she not tell her mom? Everyone deserved light. This light was so pure that Journey thought it might even be able to help Selena with her drinking problem.

“I can’t stay,” Journey said. “Mom needs this. I have to try and bring her back.”

“You may not be able to come back.”

“I’ll take my chances.” She ran over to Aaron and placed herself where he couldn’t see their dad. “Come on, Aaron. Help me find Evan. We’re going home.”