FWW Story #3

Chinese Chopsticks

I rolled the small, velvet-covered box in my pocket between my fingers. To ask, or not to ask? That was the question. What if she says no? Or even says yes? What am I supposed to say?

Kay sat across from me, poking around in her shrimp lo mein for the shrimp. She brushed her hair behind her ear and scrunched up her nose. She’s so cute. She set her chopsticks down and looked at me.

"You've barely touched your food," she said. "What's wrong?"

I smiled. I'm sure it was the fakest smile ever. I was about to pass out. I had the flu last week, and I still don’t think I’ve fully recovered. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I grinned bigger and put my hand under my chin. "I haven't been able to think about food with you looking so beautiful tonight." Gosh, that's cliché.

She laughed and put her hand out. "You're so sweet. I'll try and not look so beautiful next time."

I was about to make my move and pull the box from my pocket when someone's hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who?"

Oh, no. Not now. Please not now. "Hey, John."

My older brother took his hands from my eyes and slapped me on the back. "Who is this lovely young woman you're with, Calvin?" he asked.

I was nervous enough without John here. Even though at 25 he's two years older than me, he acts like he's 16. "This is Kay," I said. "My girlfriend." You'd have known if you were ever around. "Kay, this is my brother, John."

"Nice to meet you, dearest Kay," John said, extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you, too, John," Kay replied, blushing, and shook his hand. "Calvin's told me a lot about you."

What's John's problem? He was looking at her weird. I felt sick. "Um, excuse me. I need to visit the restroom. Why don't y'all get acquainted?" I rose from my seat and hurried to the men's room. Looking back, I saw John sit down in my place and immediately start talking.

It took me five minutes to calm myself in the bathroom. I don't know why I was sweating so badly. I loosened my tie and splashed water over my face. It was all John's fault. Why'd he have to interrupt just then? He hasn't cared about me or my life for the past seven years. But when I, who has never been good at talking to girls, has finally gotten a serious girlfriend, and is about to propose to that girlfriend, he shows up.

I finally emerged from the men's room and made a beeline for the bar. “What do you have for nerves?” I asked the bartender.

“Oh, sir, we have sake,” he replied. “Very good drink from the Japanese. Like beer.”

“Uh, no beer please. I don’t like alcohol. Do you have anything else? I feel like throwing up.”

“Oh, sir, I have just the thing. Just you wait.” He disappeared into the back room for two minutes or so. When he came out, he was holding a china teacup on a saucer. “Here you are, sir. Tea. Very good for nerves and stomach.”

“Thanks,” I said. I picked up the cup and sipped from it. Not too bad. “What kind of tea is this?”

“Oh, sir, that is chamomile-lavender tea. Very good for nerves.”

I grimaced. Wow, that’s manly. But my stomach was already starting to feel better, so I kept drinking. “Thanks again.”

“Oh, no problem, sir. Tell me if you need anything else, sir.”

After nodding my head, I braced myself and gulped down the rest of my tea. Not my best idea. My throat didn’t much enjoy it, but I needed to get back to Kay. And John. I needed to watch him.

But when I saw them, all the effects of the tea seemed to go away. John looked like he was caressing Kay’s outstretched fingers, and they were both laughing.

I felt like I was about to explode but joined them anyways.

"Well, it certainly didn't take you two very long to get comfortable," I said quietly. My voice was shaking.

"Oh, Calvin," Kay said. "John was just..." I didn't pay attention to the rest. "Oh, Calvin," she had said, like I was some sort of afterthought or something now. And she was still grinning. Didn't she know what was going on?

"I think you should leave, John," I said. John just laughed. I decided I hated his laugh.

"Calvin, don't be a killjoy. Come on, we were just getting started."

"I think you should leave, John."

"Calvin," Kay said.

"You really should leave, John."

He put his hands up and rose. "Ok, ok. All right. No need to get pushy. I needed to get going, anyway. Bye, Kay. Nice to meet you. Bye, Calvin." And he left.

I sat down and put my hand back in my pocket. The nerves were back, and with them, the sick feeling. I needed some more of that tea.

"There was no need to be rude, Calvin. I thought you two were best friends when you were in high school?"

I ignored the question. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to the bar.”

Kay gave me a suspicious look. “You hate alcohol.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m going to get some tea.”

“I’ll come.”

“Ok.”

When I sat down, she sat down next to me and started rubbing my back. Letting out a deep breath, I thanked God that John wasn’t here anymore. I called the bartender over. I noticed a little tag on his shirt that said “Jian-min” and some last name I couldn’t pronounce. “Jian—am I saying that right?—Yeah, can I have some more of that tea, please?”

Jian grinned. “Oh, of course, sir. Jian. I’ll make your chamomile-lavender tea right away, sir.”

When he said what kind of tea it was, Kay just stared at me before she started giggling. But she quickly caught herself. “Um, ok, Cal. What’s wrong?”

“I—I told you. Nothing. Well, it was nothing.”

“Your brother seems like a good guy. It sure was nice of him to stop by.”

Jian set my tea on the bar. I mumbled “Thanks” and downed it. Kay just looked at me.

“You didn’t seem happy to see your brother,” Kay said.

“Should I have been?” I asked.

“He is your brother.”

I took a sip of my tea. “We haven’t talked in over two years, and even before that we weren’t on good terms.”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said. But that was before he went to college.” Before he changed. Why did he change so much in college, but I didn’t? Or maybe it was me who changed—no. That wasn’t it. He changed. It’s his problem. “You want some tea?”

She laughed a little. I love her laugh. “Sure. Jian, can I have some lemon tea?”

“Sure thing, ma’am,” Jian replied. He disappeared again.

As I walked into my apartment I threw my keys onto the table by my phone. I’m terrible about remembering to bring it with me. I turned it on. A message said “1 Voicemail from BROMEO <3<3<3.” I smiled despite myself. When I first got my phone when I was fifteen, that’s what John had put his number in as, and I’d never bothered to change it.

I dialed the voicemail and put it on speaker. John’s voice came through slightly garbled. I flipped the phone over to clear things up and started taking my shoes and coat off.

“Heya, Calvin. Listen, I’m sorry if I did something wrong at dinner. I just found myself a few weeks ago thinking about how great buddies we used to be and wondering what happened. Mom said you were out at dinner. I probably didn’t pick the right time to drop by.” He chuckled. “I know, bro. I know.” What? What did he know? “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to catch up tomorrow, at Starbucks. Text me a time that’ll work for you. Ciao, bro. Arrivederci, au revoir, auf weidersehen, and all that stuff.” His voice clicked off.

I picked up my phone. My first thought was that he wanted something. He’d always borrow things from me when we were younger. But then, a part of me wanted to talk to him, despite what he’d done. I texted him. “1pm?”

A few minutes later I got a text back. “Great! 1 it is. Don’t be late.” Ha. If I knew anything about him, he’d be the late one.

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and set it on my nightstand. “John, why’d you have to do this tonight?” I said. “Now I have even longer to think about it.” Sighing, I flipped open my laptop and started working through my emails. It kept me up until two in the morning. Thankfully, tomorrow was Saturday. I closed my laptop, fell back on my bed, and promptly went to sleep, still dressed.

Kay woke me up the next morning around 11:30 with a box of jalapeno-cheese kolaches. After I had thanked her and began eating, she picked up one of my hands.

 “Hey, how about we play Chinese Chopsticks?” she said.

That confused me. I’ve never taught her to play. I haven’t played since John and I were in high school. “I don’t really want to.”

“Come on,” she said. “I haven’t had much practice, so you’ll have to go easy on me.”

“All right,” I said. Then I winked. “I’ll try.”

We played while I ate my kolaches. Kay wasn’t very good at first. I beat her in under 30 seconds every time. But she’s a very determined woman, and it didn’t take her long to get the hang of it. She even beat me at the end.

She laughed. “I think I’m good now that I’ve beaten you. I have to get back to the salon soon, anyway. The girls and I are going out for lunch in fifteen minutes.” Her eyes lit up. “Call me about tonight?”

“Sure thing. Love you.”

The door clicked shut behind her. Her talking about going out with the girls reminded me that I was supposed to meet John in a little more than an hour. Why’d I say yes last night? I didn’t want to talk with him. That tea must have made me too relaxed. What should I even say to him? I don’t want to talk with him. I picked up my phone and pressed 4. His number was still on speed dial.

“Hey, I don’t really have the money for Starbucks today,” I said when he answered. “Payday is next Friday. And you know it’s torture to go to Starbucks and not get anything. But you can go by yourself.” He’s practically a young version of Scrooge, but not so grouchy. He won’t pay for himself, and I won’t have to meet him to talk.

“Oh, that’s cool,” he replied. “My boss was feeling generous last week and gave us all a bonus. I’ll take care of you.”

What? No. No, no, no. “Oh, um, well...I...ok. I’ll be there at one.”

“Awesome. See ya there, buddy.” I could hear his smile. “Thanks for agreeing to come.”

“Um, yeah. Ok. Bye.” I ended the call. Why couldn’t I come up with an excuse?

While I was taking a shower, I tried coming up with things to say to him. I couldn’t.

I walked into Starbucks at 1:05. Squinting, I scanned the room for my brother. To my surprise, he was, indeed, early. He was sitting by the window in the back, next to the restrooms. As soon as he saw me he grinned and came over.

“Hey, bro,” he said. “Nice to see you again.” He held his arms out while he talked, so I high-fived him.

“Yeah,” I said, “nice to see you, too.”

“I ordered you an iced caramel macchiato. That’s still what you get, right?”

I nodded.

“Awesome.” He stood there for a few seconds, looking awkward, then gestured back to his table in the corner. “Um, how ‘bout we sit down?”

I knew I shouldn’t treat him so coldly, but it’s his fault, anyway. “Sure,” I said. We walked to the back and sat down. Almost immediately, the barista called out our order.

“An iced caramel macchiato and an iced hot chocolate!”

“I’ll get them,” John said and got up, soon returning with our drinks.

“Hey, sorry I was late,” I started.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” He shrugged. “How have you been? We haven’t talked in ages.”

We made small talk for half an hour, until John said, “Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I really didn’t mean to upset you.”

I felt my cheeks grow hot. I drank some of my macchiato. “Upset me? No, ‘course not. You’d never do that. I’m completely fine.”

“Great, ‘cause I was starting to think I did something to make you mad—”

“Oh, no. Other than go to college my best friend and come back a partier who hardly talked to me unless he needed a designated driver. You’d mock me in front of your ‘friends’ ‘cause they did, too.” He winced. My face burned even more. “And we hardly heard from you after you left for your junior year. And then, when you show up five years later, you flirt with my girlfriend when I was about to propose to her. Yeah, you didn’t do anything.”

He looked genuinely hurt. Maybe I pushed too hard, but it was his fault. I had wanted to say this for a long time. He couldn’t just show up out of the blue and expect me to forgive him for throwing me under the bus.

After a few moments of silence, he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”

“You never ‘realized’ anything about me. It was always about you—your ideas, your choices, your friends. I was just there. And now I have something, and you came and tried to mess it up.”

“I didn’t come to mess it up, I came to see how you were,” he said.

“Yeah, well, thanks. You messed that up, too, seven years ago. Remember how Mom would tell us that we would grow up and leave our friends, but we’d always have each other? Well, you found new friends. You didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, brother.” I hadn’t realized how loud I was, or that I had stood up. People were staring at us.

“I was an idiot, ok, Cal? I messed up. I admit it. But if you’d just listen to me—”

“You never listened to me.”

His face finally fell. “Then goodbye, I guess.” He walked over to the door, only a few feet away. “I’m sorry, again. Ask Kay tonight, she’ll say yes. She told me she wanted you to ask when I was teaching her Chinese Chopsticks.” And then he disappeared through the door.

Completely deflated, I sank back into my chair. He taught her? That’s what they were doing? I couldn’t believe it. And she told him she’d tell me yes? Why would she tell him?

I ran outside, looking for John’s yellow pinstriped pickup. It wasn’t anywhere in sight.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I called Kay. “Hey, babe. How do you feel about Italian tonight?”

Two weeks later, having found out where he lived from Mom, I pulled up in front of John’s house. I sat in my car for a while, struggling with myself. “You need to tell him,” Mom had said. “Make up with him. He loves you, Calvin.” So here I was. But would he want to talk with me, after what I said to him?

I got out of my car and walked up his cracked sidewalk to his door. I knocked and waited.

I didn’t wait long. Soon I heard him fiddling with the lock. When he opened it, his jaw dropped, then he closed it and looked grim, then he just looked sad. “Hey, Cal,” he said.

“Hey, John,” I replied and tried to smile. “So, Kay said yes. The wedding’s set for December 18^th.”

He half-smiled. “Awesome, bro. I’m happy for ya. You two are perfect for each other.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Oh, and, um, I was wondering…” I hesitated. “How’s life been?”

He stared at me for a second before he answered, skeptical. “It’s been pretty good. Been working for a lawn service company.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “You?”

“Great.” I laughed a little. “Any lady in your life yet?”

“Nope.” He, too, chuckled. “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

“Listen, John, um, I wanted to ask you if”—I started fiddling with my watch—“I mean, if you’re not busy, of courses…would you be my best man?”

He lost the feeble grin he had been wearing. “Why would you want me, Cal? Don’t you have someone better?”

I could tell that he was still thinking about all those things I had said at Starbucks. I couldn’t blame him, though—I still thought about them, and hated what I had said. “Because…because you’re my brother, John. We were always together.”

“And what if I get drunk and need a designated driver?”

I winced. “Mom said you gave up alcohol.”

“I did.”

We just stood there, staring at each other in silence, for what felt like several minutes. I finally couldn't stand it. “John, I’m sorry.”

“Me, too,” he said. “Remember what Mom used to make us do after we had a fight?”

 “What, make us run into the street and hug?” I asked, chuckling.

“Yeah.” His grin was back now. He waited a few moments before holding out his arms. “I’m your man.”

I blinked the tears from my eyes before stepping forward and hugging him, hard. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Gracie and I spent all of yesterday afternoon baking and decorating cupcakes, and they are delicious. :D

Because today is in celebration of love and being romantic, I'd like to point you, my dear readers, back to the greatest example of love ever: the One and Only God, the God who is Love. 

First off, he made us. He didn't have to--he doesn't need us. But he did make us, and he said that we were good, and he loved us. Even when Adam and Eve disobeyed him, he didn't give up on us. The Bible is a narrative telling of God's plan to bring us back to him, his plan that is accomplished when Christ dies on the cross for us whom he loves, and when he rose again, crushing sin and death. By doing so, he allowed everyone--whether Jew or Gentile, slave or free, man or woman--to come to know him in a love relationship far greater than any other relationship we can have. 

So here's a few verses about his love for us. :)

"For God shows his love for us in this, that while we were still sinners Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." ~John 3:16

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creating will be able to separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~Romans 8:37-39

Isn't that awesome?!

And now, here's some picture of the cupcakes we made. And some Les Mis to make your ears happy. :)

This one was an extra that got a little deformed in the oven...
so I got to have a little fun decorating it.  x]

A Speech!

I wrote this "speech" for part of my Rhetoric exam. Now, it was written to be spoken, so it may seem a bit formal, but...well. It was fun to write. :) 

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Proposition: Chimpanzees are more practical pets than dogs are.

Thank you for having me here today. Hello, I am Seth Grant, and I’m here to tell you that monkeys are more practical pets than dogs. I’m not one to mince words—I’ve never even had a mince pie—so let’s jump in.

            Of course, before we can say that chimpanzees are more practical pets than dogs, we must first define what a practical pet is. A practical pet is 1) an effective servant, 2) can perform tasks and chores that would otherwise take up too much of your time, and 3) is a minimal-hassle animal. Before we go any further, however, let me clarify that yes, all these criteria for practical pets do necessitate a certain amount of training. This will be addressed later on.

            What do I mean by “effective servant”? Well, I mean that the animal can be your go-fer. Not the animal gopher, but a go-for, office slang for someone who can get things for you, such as the TV remote, coffee, a bagel, or a towel.

            Secondly, a practical pet can perform tasks and chores that would otherwise take up too much of your time. In our busy, hustle-bustle world, time is money. The more time you have, the more money you can make. So if your practical pet can perform those mundane tasks like doing the laundry, drawing the bath, and tucking the children in for bed.

            Finally, a practical pet is minimal-hassle. The less you have to spend (both time and money) on it, the less you have to nanny it, the less you have to clean up after it, the better. Like I said before, time is precious. And in the words of a current internet icon, “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!”

With these criteria in place, we can now judge which pet is more practical, the chimp or the dog. Let’s start with the dog, whom I shall name Fido. Fido is a decently effective servant. He can bring you the TV remote when you’re crashed on the couch and just want to veg on the cough. He can bring you the newspaper on those cold mornings when you forgot your slippers and there was a particularly heavy dew the night before. And he can bring you a towel when you got into the shower without checking the towel rack.

Fido, however, cannot bring you your coffee in the mornings, much less brew it for you. But let’s set brewing aside for the moment and focus on the bringing. Fido uses his mouth in the place of hands, so when he grabs your coffee, you had better hope that your coffee lid was screwed on tightly, or else you’ll have to spend 30 minutes cleaning up nasty brown coffee stains. In addition, while Fido can bring you a bagel, most people would rather not eat soggy bagel. If Fido can resist the urge to eat the food that is in his mouth, not only his he a very well-trained dog, but the bagel will also be quite drenched in drool. I’ll leave it at that.

Can Fido perform chores for you? The simple answer is no. Once again, the lack of hands comes into play here. He may, perhaps, draw the bath for you, if you have installed long, doggy-friendly handles in your bathtub. And dogs are well-known for their ability to comfort children at night. But, sadly, our friend Fido cannot do other things, such as the laundry. He can bring the dirty clothes into the laundry room, but he cannot load the soap into the washer or start either the washer or dryer.

Now on to the third criteria: minimal hassle. The average puppy isn’t terribly expensive, depending on what breed you get, and you can get some for (comparatively) cheap from those corner stop salesmen who carry the puppies in the back of their trucks. And you can always check the classifieds for “puppies for sale.” However, puppies do take a great deal of training to perform the more complex tasks, such as getting your towel or drawing the bath, and you will have to pick up after them for the rest of their lives, even after they’ve been potty-trained. In addition, dogs are inbred with a desire to chew things when they get bored, so they must be constantly monitored or very well trained to avoid the owner’s coming home to find toilet paper strewn about the house.

Now that Fido has been analyzed, let’s move on to the chimpanzee, whom I shall name Zeke. Thanks to his opposable thumbs, Zeke can not only bring you the TV remote, newspaper, and towel, but also your coffee and that essential bagel. And, as an added bonus, he can brew your coffee for you so you don’t have to waste time brewing it.

Secondly, Zeke can draw the bath for you, tuck in your children, and do the laundry with ease. Opposable thumbs really are a huge plus. And, in addition to washing and drying your clothes, Zeke can even fold your laundry, iron it, and set it out for you the night before. 

But here’s the kicker: is Zeke minimal hassle? At first glance, the answer would seem to be no. While it is true that it is much harder and slightly more expensive to acquire a chimpanzee than it would be a dog, Zeke makes up for it in other areas. For instance, with his superior intelligence, Zeke can be trained much more easily to do the things mentioned above. He can be trained to use an actual toilet. And, while he, too, can be prone to tearing up things when left alone, Zeke can also be trained to use his boredom as a time to begin a more productive activity, such as the laundry. He doesn’t have to be let out every hour or so to use the bathroom.

While Fido is a very decent option for a practical pet, Zeke outdoes him in every area. Where Fido can be a go-fer for some things, Zeke can go-fer anything. With the benefit of his opposable thumbs, Zeke can perform chores that Fido can only do in his dreams. And Zeke can be trained much more easily than Fido can. Therefore, chimpanzees are more practical pets than dogs are.

Should Christians (non-Catholics) read Dante's "Purgatory"?

This is a short essay I wrote for my omnibus exam. I tried to imitate Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologica by using the form of a Disputed Question. 

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Question 1

First Article

Whether Dante's Purgatory should be read by Christians?

            We proceed thus to the First Article:—

            Obj. 1: It would seem that Christians should not read Dante’s Purgatory, for it seems to teach that people can be saved from the guilt of their sins by their own righteousness earned in Purgatory, and Paul says that it is “by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” If we could save ourselves by doing good things, then it would rob God of his glory, and the sacrifice of Christ would have been pointless. “For if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose” (Galatians 2:21). Therefore a person cannot blot out his bad deeds by his good deeds.

            Obj. 2: Further, Purgatory teaches that we will have another chance at salvation after we die. But in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, when the rich man begs for Father Abraham to have mercy on him and send him water, Abraham replies, “Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us” (Luke 16:25-26). Therefore it is impossible for a person, once deceased, to change his place of eternal residence.

            On the contrary, C.S. Lewis says in his essay entitled “On the Reading of Old Books” that “first-hand knowledge is not only more worth acquiring than second-hand knowledge, but is usually much easier and more delightful to acquire.” In addition, Lewis says, “[Many] would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hands.” Dante’s Purgatory is an old theological classic. Therefore, Christians should read it so that they may have an unadulterated view of Dante’s theology regarding Purgatory to compare to Scripture’s teaching, and, when doing so, learn what Scripture says on the topic.

            I answer that, Christians should read Dante’s Purgatory. For the same reason that we should read other classics, like Plato’s Republic—the reason being that classics increase our understanding of the world and God. “If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8b). There is much that is excellent and worthy of praise in Purgatory. But we should still “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and test it against Scripture, which is infallible.

            In addition, Purgatory gives us an example of how to live whilst on earth. While there is no such place as Purgatory, we can still take the principle portrayed in it—that of sanctification—and apply it to our lives. We are not saved by works, but we do become more like Christ through our actions, which stem from the renewing of our minds. 

            Reply to Obj. 1: Those that are in Purgatory are already Redeemed (Purgatory, 2.73). The Late-Repentant and the Excommunicate are in Purgatory, it is true; but, even though they only came to know Christ at the end of their lives, or were excommunicated, they are Christians nonetheless. Their works are not saving them, their works are making them ready for an audience with a Holy God who cannot be in the presence of sin.

            This has been a sufficient reply to the second objection.